Den 4e juni 2012 skickade jag ett brev till mig själv som skulle anlända exakt ett år senare, idag, via futureme.org. Här är några delar av det, som på beställning ploppade upp i min inkorg idag. Varför det är på engelska får ni fråga 15åriga Charlotte om.

"Dear FutureMe,

I hope that you are feeling alright. That high school has worked out for you so far and that you've gained lots of friends in the past year. I am now, at the time of writing this letter, 15 years old going on 16. It is 14 days left, two weeks, and the latter of those two weeks will probably be the most eventfull of my life, but hopefully not yours. In exactly one week I am going to prom. Two days later, I end ninth grade. Then I will finally be done with all of this. I will never have to set my foot into that school again, and I don't even know why, but it feels good. It feels so good. Atleast that is how it feels now, and I hope you feel the same. I hope that you will enjoy high school so much more than you've ever enjoyed elementary school."

"..My life right now is so uninteresting. I never do anything. I sit in my room playing world of warcraft with these people who I consider my internet friends, but I don't think they'd care if I quit playing."

Hah. Om mitt liv då var ointressant, vad är då mitt liv nu?

"..I would, if I wouldn't be so sad myself. But I don't show that to anyone, because I want them to think that I am happy, because I have nothing to be sad about. Maybe you do?"

Jag måste ha förträngt hur jag mådde redan då. Varför höll jag det hemligt? Ingen mening med det överhuvudtaget. Bara dumt, så dumt.

"..I don't want you to cry everyday. Cry because you're so ugly, because no one will ever love you. Not even like you. Because they will. Take this advice from a younger self, people care more about you than you think. You will hit obsticles in life and it's so much easier to get past them if you have someone with you."

Oj. Mitt 15åriga jag var så mycket visare än nutidens Charlotte.

"..I hope that you are happy, living a interesting life and doing what you want. I hope that you are enjoying life the way you should, because right now I am not. It will get better, and I can tell you that because you will hopefully be smarter and wiser than I am right now, because I am trying to tell myself these stuff but I am just not listening. I just spend my time on Reddit that I just found out about, which is a great website by the way, incase you've forgotten about it by now. Full of wise people who are much nicer than people in real life."

Hmm. Nja.

"..Oh and by the way, 16 year old me, remember to use a condom. Always use a condom. Even when giving someone a blowjob, herpes isn't attractive. But you are. Enjoy life. Live well. Do what your heart tells you.

Lots of love,
The past, 15 year old, you."

Bra råd där, dåtida jag. Kondomer kanske inte är det jag främst behöver tänka på just nu dock. Men 'enjoy life' ska jag försöka ta till mig, tack för tipset.

Undrar hur mitt liv ser ut den 4e juni 2014. Hm. Den som lever får se.